KINK LIST CHECKLIST HOW TO
KINK LIST CHECKLIST UPDATE
KINK LIST CHECKLIST FREE

In my checklist I ask people to rate each activity in a number of different ways in order to get a more comprehensive idea about how my sub actually experiences each activity. It’s important to remember though that people interpret different terms differently, and one person’s idea of what “medium masochism” is might be wholly different than another’s.Īlongside the long list of activities to be rated, there are often a few ways each activity can be rated. This is so the person filling it out can do so as clearly as possible, and the person reading it can interpret their answers relatively accurately.

KINK LIST CHECKLIST HOW TO

How to use a BDSM checklist: At the top of most comprehensive checklists you’ll find definitions about what words mean and instructions about how to fill the pages out.

KINK LIST CHECKLIST FREE

Feel free to download, edit, update, change, and utilize the list for yourself: It’s not an exhaustive list in the least bit, but I think it’s a pretty good start and it works for me rather well. My list is based off a few I’ve used in the past, with various bits taken off, added on, recategorized, redefined, and with slightly different options than I’ve found on some.

KINK LIST CHECKLIST UPDATE

I’ll try to update the file link when I think of it in the future. That’s just the nature of this ever-evolving beast. I know I’ll be refining it as long as I use it. Today I’m sharing a BDSM checklist that I’ve put together. Certainly it’s impossible to develop an exhaustive list of things to try, but even still some lists cater more towards styles of play I enjoy, and some are far from useful to me specifically. There are some I find to be too complicated, and others too simplistic. Sometimes I get annoyed that a checklist’s language is different from what I’m used to, or the list comes off as too heteronormative or less than gender inclusive. You can find a bunch of them online, and over the years I’ve found examples which work more or less to my satisfaction. … But this Yes/No/Maybe List is a little different.A helpful tool I frequently use with new subs and trainees is the BDSM checklist. Brainstorm together and see what you can come up with that I didn’t, and then add it to the list.

If you’re interested in cock and ball torture and your partner is into cognitive behavioral therapy you’re having two very different conversations.Īrguably some of the most useful pieces of Yes/No/Maybe Lists are their lists of activities and terms, and although mine is extensive, it is by no means exhaustive, so I encourage you to write in your own. Don’t only discuss what you want to do, also discuss what the words you’re using mean. Instead I usually prefer to have negotiation conversations like these in coffee shops or during long car rides. I also recognize that I am in the minority of folks who find spreadsheets sexy and I don’t expect you to fill out you Yes/No/Maybe Lists in your finest lingerie. It can be revisited often, as people’s preferences can fluctuate, and it’s a fun way to get new ideas and reflect on your own desires. Your Yes/No/Maybe List is a tool to use in an ongoing conversation about all the sexy things you want to do together. Your Yes/No/Maybe List is not a contract, it’s not consent, and it’s not set in stone. The goal here is to focus on the things you can do together and not dwell on the nos, You should NEVER try to talk someone out of their no or expect them to explain it to you, though they may choose to. Then the partners reconvene and discuss where their yesses overlap. and sorts each one into one of three columns: Yes, No, or Maybe. It’s simple, each person involved in the negotiation takes a list of activities/terms/food items etc. A Yes/No/Maybe list is a common tool in kink circles for negotiating scenes, but really, you could use it to negotiate… pretty much anything.

Kink list checklist